Tuesday, 6 May 2014

The Princess and the Frog: A new twist in the tale

It has been a while since I have had a guest post on my blog. But the wait will be be worth it for we have with us a wonderful story teller :Pankti Mehta, who blogs at Musings of a Confused Gal. She is not really into science fiction and fantasy, but she likes to attempt every genre. I was very impressed with some of her children's fiction on her blog. She is also a romantic at heart with a good sense of humor. So I decided to invite her over to take a shot a humorous retelling of a romantic faity tale. And find below the result: I immensely enjoyed this story. I hope you enjoy it too.

Dejected and depressed, Princess Haimi stared at the lotus blossoming in the pond. Although the lotus was beautiful enough to mesmerize the entire mankind in a blink, it failed with Haimi for she was more focused on her problems. Her parents, the king Shantanu and queen Shaily, wanted her to marry Prince Hast for strategic alliance. If she married Hast, her kingdom will have a secured north-west border and they would gain an ally in event of a war with their hostile north-east neighbor. But every time she thought about Hast, she wanted to puke. It wasn't as if he was ugly; it was just that he had got very mean eyes - small like peanuts and set so close with each other that they looked like a single eye when seen from afar. Most of the people ignored his eyes as he was handsome in every other way with tall, muscled frame, attractive features and fine dark silk as hair. 

Just when she was preparing herself to resign to her fate and marry Hast, a frog jumped into her lap. Haimi, who hated frogs for their slimy texture, tried to swat the frog away, but when it didn't jump away as she had assumed it to, she tried to get up. Unfortunately she couldn't move because the frog, which had started getting heavier the moment it landed on her lap, was now as heavy as an adult male.
"Ma'am, please don't be scared. I'm here to speak with you."

Haimi couldn't believe her ears. It seemed like the frog was talking to her! Or maybe she was having belated hangover from the few vodka shots she had last night with her friends!

"Are you listening to me ma'am?"

Deciding to humor the frog until it got off her lap, Haimi nodded. Apparently, it was enough to satisfy the frog. "First of all, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Ugresh, the prince of Talakizia."

"Talakizia? But isn't that the kingdom of Prince Hast?" Haimi burst out in confusion. 

"Yes. Prince Hast is my younger brother."

Now Haimi was getting more and more confused. Talakizia only had one prince - Hast. 

"Before you start getting confused, let me tell you the entire thing."

"Okay. I will listen to you but would you mind getting off my lap? You are too heavy for my legs."

"Well, I don't trust you enough to get off completely. I'm sure you will run off in seconds if you can. However, I will lighten myself by 20 kgs so that you can bear me."

Haimi was deeply impressed by the supposed Prince Ugresh. It seemed that his intelligence wasn't impacted by the frog's limited brain size.

"I'm elder to Hast by 4 years and 10 times more handsome than him. I was an incorrigible playboy who loved to break ladies' heart. Few years back, I unwittingly played with a witch's affection and she turned me into an ugly frog."

Listening to the frog's forlorn tone, Haimi started laughing. 

"What's so funny?" asked the disgruntled frog.

"Well, this is 21st century. Do you really want me to believe that witches exist? What do you take me for?"

"Then how many talking frogs have you encountered in your 21st century?"

As Haimi really had no answer to this question, she decided to focus on the matter at hand. "If you really are Prince's Hast elder brother, why haven't I ever heard about you? Why are your parents claiming Hast as an only son?"

"Unfortunately, I was an irresponsible prince who lived a fast life paced with nightclubs and yacht parties. My parents were deeply embarrassed by me. On the other hand, Hast has always been a responsible man, even if he's little bit mean. So when I turned into a frog, my parents washed their hands off me. They told me to come back to the kingdom if I ever manage to gain my human form."
"Okay. So what has this got to do with me?"
"You can help me break the spell. You just need to kiss me and I will turn back to my original form."  

"But isn't a kiss from true love required to break spells? That's what I've seen in the movies."

"Those movies are based on the sentiments of old times when true love used to exist. Nowadays we can't love anyone but ourselves and so spells no longer require true love's kiss. Spells ask for tough things, not impossible."

"But why should I kiss you? If you just require a female's kiss, you can ask any woman to kiss you."

It was a rare sight for Haimi to see a frog sighing. "I need a kiss from a beautiful woman who's a princess. Most of the princesses are butt ugly who can look pretty only after going through intense 6 hour make-up session. And I haven't found any real beauty who's a princess. You qualify in both the criteria. So, I beg you, please kiss me!"

"If I kiss you, what is it for me?"

"What do you want?"

"Well, as you are Prince Hast's elder brother, I would like you to marry me. You don't have to stay married to me forever. Divorce me after a year but you will need to take the blame for the marriage's failure."
"I'd do it but why do you want this? I thought women still loved to have security of marriage."

"Well, I'm not one of those females. I love my independent life but my parents are pressuring me to marry your brother for strategic alliance. I don't give a damn about alliance but if I don't marry per their wish, they will disown me. I don't like being poor or having to work for a living. I like being a princess. So if I marry you, I can have the best of both the worlds" Haimi loved her plan.

 "Okay. So let's kiss and get the show rolling."

Hang on! Before I kiss you, you have to swear that you will help me.

I swear I will help you get rid of your parents’ pressure. Now can we just kiss and get it over and done with?” Hating the wait, the frog was getting impatient.

Muttering something about ungrateful and thankless frogs under her breath, Haimi kissed the frog. As soon as she kissed it, the frog turned into a handsome hunk. In fact, he looked hotter than Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper combined! Just when Haimi was feeling pleased with herself for coming up with such a fabulous solution for her problem, she realized that she was looking up the prince. He was way, way up. And then it dawned on her. 
She had turned into a frog!

When she tried to speak, she croaked. Prince Ugresh looked down at her and started laughing manically. "Sorry. I forgot to tell you that the beautiful princess who will kiss me will take the curse upon herself. So if you wish to turn back into the human form, you will need to pass off the curse to another handsome prince."

The prince started walking away, whistling under the breath. Turning around a bit, he addressed the princess-turned-frog for the last time. "As an act of kindness, let me tell you one thing: you won't be able to talk for a week. After that, you too will be able to speak like I was. And, yes, I hated the taste of bugs. I hope you enjoy them.
Coming up next Tuesday: "Little Red Riding Hood in Twilight Zone"

17 comments:

  1. Hahaha! NOW THAT was a twist :) Talk about ungrateful frogs :)

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  2. Oh that was a mean fairy tale!!! :( but well written with an unexpected twist :)

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  3. Amazing twist..loved it! Kudos Pankti..:)

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  4. Lovely Tale Pankti. With the twist of course. You're probably going to hate me for this, but I've read a similar twisted version of the tale previously. So kind of expected it. But very well narrated though.

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  5. I should also hastily add that I am in no way indicating that yours wasn't original. This fractured and twisted fairy tale versions have been going around for a few years now, and I had happened to research them intensively for one of my posts. Also in your version, the Prince does leave her with tips :P The tongue in cheek behaviour with which he does it, is what sets your post apart

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  6. Uff Guys!!! ;) Well narrated :D

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  7. Nice one Pankti...well narrated! But, I guess I have read and even saw this version or let's say the ending already in children's channel. Never mind,,,I liked reading it again esp. from you :)

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  8. Pankti, you are just awesome at telling stories, and your fictional ones are a class apart. We all become kids and thoroughly enjoy the stories.

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  9. Pankti you made this story tooooooooooo much intresting.
    I love reading your blog.
    &
    This one is really awesome story - loved it.

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